One sunday morning, in March 2014, I saw an advert on tv that said "How will you tell your child about your lung cancer? How will you tell them that you chose this death over them"
Instantly I imagined having this conversation with my kids.
45 minutes later I was driving to a shop in Darlington that sold vape equipment and e-cigs. A box of 20 ciggies on mu dashboard and a horrible heavy feeling in my hearr. What if it's too late?
I paid 40 quid that I couldn't afford for my starter kit. I walked out of the shop, put the ecig together and never looked back.
Thats a mild fib. Several times I've felt the familiar pang of craving. The ecig takes the edge off, tastes better and smells loada better, but I struggle to get through an hour without it. I could manage that with real cigarettes.
Sometimes I look at the packs longingly in the shops. Sometimes I wake up and want nothing more than the taste of burnt tobacco, the irritating smoke in my eyes, the lingering smell on my hands... but I don't want to go there. I'm too far along for that!